carol has ruined my life

Wednesday

The day after my parent's anniversary lmao. I went out to Sokyo at The Star at 8:30 am to meet them cus they had hotelled there the night before.

I got the Sumo breakfast that had edamame beans, a hash brown, mushrooms, a sausage, two eggs, toast and some other stuff. I think it was $22.50? But my dad got the buffet option so he just got us extra food.

Then roamed around city with my mum hehe shopped a little. VISITED FD AT PANDORA!! she didn't see me she was too busy :( The little girl was serving customers so diligently but I saw her check her phone once so she should be fired.

Dinner at Arisun. Ordered the non-chilli stuff because my parents can't eat chilli??

Do I not have the fakest smile ever here LMAO also my mum made me pose like this please don't think I'm weird

Then got N2 hehehe the same pavlova one as last time so yummy omfg. 

Thursday

Went to Amy's house. What did we do? I don't even remember. Oh yeh we kinda went beserk on the couch like they agreed to watch GWTDT but no one was helping me set it up so I started screaming. Amy and Stephen were flinging my socks and encouraging Oscar to pull them off and now they're covered in his slobber. Also Stephen flung out lollies from his nostrils for the lols. 

But yes Amy and Stephen finally watched GWTDT and they liked it!!! Amy was so unsatisfied with the ending though as was I when I first watched it lol.

Then we made ice cream and I don't think we froze the ice cream machine thing for long enough so it didn't really work HAHAHA oh well it still tasted nice. We made maple syrup and bacon ice cream I don't have a pic :(

Friday

We did nothing yet again. Tutored Kevin. Tried to watch Pride and Prejudice with Amy but we both got bored even though I used to love that movie. Then walked Oscar and went home hehe. Amy's mum baked thousands of almond biscuits for my parents cus I told her they really liked them. 

Cackling to myself in the living room because:

1. My lock screen
2. I almost watched a 1.4k views palm reading video
3. I would be institutionalised if anyone saw my Youtube history RIP my recommendations atm

Ignoring my PR responsibilities so much and its not even 2017 yet like I need to start working on the website but seriously ceebs.

 OMG severe social anxiety even through fb chat now with Naomi I AM MOTHERFUCKING TERRIBLE ok I never should've started talking to her fml the anxiety is real

FARKKKKKKKKKKK

Read More

Uweza Foundation

You know its all gone to shit when you are no longer part of the group chat. Maybe I am meant to be a recluse but I don't think I can survive like that. Need to start attending yoga classes, becoming a vegan and creating my own charity.

Friendships are so hard to maintain. I feel like a monster sometimes because my fear of being lonely is what motivates me to do things.

Everything I write is so contrived stop pretending Serina.

Listening to Jean Yves Thibaut... I still remember when I first started this blog I was in my Pride and Prejudice phase (which I would happily get back into) and I was just writing thoughts for myself and idk what to do anymore because everything I say I have to consider who's reading and whether you'll want to read this and everything is so difficult I want to private this blog but also like yeh

I think everyone is tired of my fake existential crises I realise there seven year old Kenyan girls getting raped and married off to men old enough to be their grandfathers. http://www.uwezakenya.org/ I watched the founders' presentation at a Social Innovation Summit and I was so shocked and saddened by their stories like fml we are so lucky in Australia. Basically the organisation helps improve the lives of young kids/teenagers living in the Kibera slums by giving them access to programs, tutoring, housing etc. It's the first charity I have actually spent any significant time learning about and it started with more stalking of my current obsession (poops u know who I am talking about heheh) but I put on my KK wishlist to donate $30 to this charity instead of buying me anything because fuck their lives are so shitty and its unfair we get to live so freely. Now if my KK happens to not read my blog or not check my wishlist, I will be happy with anything else they can come up with and I'll just donate myself.

Do you ever just wish you could drop everything and volunteer somewhere and help people who actually need it then realise that you aren't brave enough to do that because you need to go to uni and educate yourself so you can get a stable job. Maybe one day. Why do such awful things happen I don't get it.

Saw Angel today no not that Angel but Feng saw that Angel at Specsavers. Also saw Gabby lmao I saw the back of her head and I was analysing her walk for so long cus I wasn't sure it was her. Also saw ??? through the window as she was working lmao didn't want to go in and say hi because I'm too poor to walk into shops like those.

When you don't know whether your feelings are real or not because they only come out at night when you're alone in your bed trying to articulate what is going on in your head then it just goes deeper and deeper then you wake up the next day and everything is alright again and the night before seems like a dream.

Did you know you can turn you iPhone keyboard into a mouse pad?

I wish I was not fake.

What a waste of a lovely night

Read More

La La Land

So here comes my very incomprehensive review of "La La Land" which I was so fucking excited to see I kept dropping not-so-subtle hints to Amy about it.

Music

One of my favourite things about this movie fo sure was the music. EVERY SONG WAS SO NICE OMFG LIKE WORDS CAN'T EVEN EXPLAIN ESPECIALLY THEIR THEME SONG AND CITY OF STARS LIKE AKSJDHFLKSJH;EJNFKJLSDJFH

Emma Stone and Ryan Gosling actually sang the songs (some live) and both their voices are quite nice.

All the songs are original as well like wtf the composer is so talented I hope these songs will turn into classics.

Cinematography

What a beautiful movie to look at. I felt like I was in a trance for 2 hours. The long shots, the colours, even the actors faces like my eyes were just trying to absorb all the beauty. LOVED the dancing scene on the hill with a view of the whole city that was soooooooooooooooooooooo nice. Also the dancing in the galaxy part was so cool.

I really want to know how they shot that opening scene. 

Also the editing was amazing I don't really know why I just felt like all the scenes transitioned in a unique but not jarring way. I've never seen anything like it.

Couple goals

I loved Emma Stone and Ryan Gosling omfg some people said they weren't that invested in the couple but I totally was THEY ARE SO CUTE TOGETHER AND THEY SUPPORTED EACH OTHER'S DREAMS AND JUST UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH the way they smiled at each other at the end as well RIP my heart

Pacing

Tbh I thought it was a bit slow AT TIMES especially in the honeymoon phase when nothing was really happening like I caught myself thinking "when is the conflict going to come so the story moves somewhere" and it took QUITE LONG. 

There were certain moments in the movie where the whole cinema went silent and idk I love those when you're just hanging onto every word the characters are saying and watching the expressions on their faces (i.e. their argument, her amazing audition, when he plays the last few notes on the piano at the end after the dream sequence). Omfg the look on Emma Stone's face when she saw the Seb's sign

Spoilers are whited out so if you want to read it properly just highlight it lol. 

Stephen said "love is dead" when the movie finished but I really didn't feel that way. The whole movie felt really really happy to me and I don't think it could've ended another way because if you think about it logistically both were completely dedicated to their work and it probably wouldn't have worked out anyway like who would look after their kid. And they both have that brief period of their lives to look back on. It was very bittersweet because they both accomplished what they set out to do and to become .

Dreams

They were both so passionate about their respective dreams and I felt so fake watching it because I have no dreams. Can you imagine wanting to do something so badly you would pack up your whole life to pursue it? I WISH I HAD THAT DRIVE TO DO SOMETHING. I think if we all seriously considered our dreams our society would not function though like come on.

Anyway I can't say that I loved it but I think defs go see it if you like musicals and love looking at pretty things lmao. I want to rewatch it though. Am not as blown away by it as I was by Whiplash ...that movie made me lose a few years of my life because of the stress.

*********************

Went to Town Hall in the arvo to meet with Feng who I had not seen in like a month, and FD.

I got there before everyone else so I lined up to buy tickets and noticed 2 asian chicks who were talking very animatedly. Then after I bought tickets I was just chilling in front of the cinema because I didn't want to get out from behind the pole otherwise my Me Oi co-worker would see me and I was trying to avoid her. THEN I GET AMBUSHED BY THE TWO ASIAN CHICKS and they start asking me what ticket I bought and wow turns out they bought La La Land tickets for the same session!!! Some more small talk goes on and inside I'm like "wtf do you want with me".... then they start slowly bringing up all these events that they want to invite me to like Zumba classes, language classes, teamwork sessions etc. and I'm kinda like fuck how much longer is this going to go on for until they finally bring up "oh and our main thing is Bible study classes" OF MOTHERFUCKING COURSE LMAO and they ask me if I have a religion and I'm just bluntly like "no" and I could tell that they were a little shocked and they didn't know what to say but then they recovered and started saying "oh Bible study isn't just for religious people" blah blah idk what LOL just zoned out a little until they finally left after giving me a flyer. RIP I don't know how to leave those conversations. But tbh they were really nice. 

Also I was 1m away from Ms Irvine who was with a friend and I was so close to being like omg Ms Irvine then I realised she probably doesn't know who I am.

Went to Westfield Myers and saw so many people - Viv Thuy, Anh Anh Tran, Vickie Tran and Phuc (who was working there). Then met up with Stephen, Amy and Andrew at the Giftorium and walked back to Event.

Came back in time for some of the ads and omfg I was so disappointed when the lights dimmed because the Lion trailer didn't show BUT THEN the Lion trailer comes on and Amy gave me the rude finger because she is so sick of her. FD and I were saying GUDDU!! More advertising for this movie because I need someone to see it with me. 

OMFG also Manchester By the Sea looks soooooooooooooooooo good. Casey Affleck has won almost all the Best Actor Awards so far wtf no one has come even close. Also he needs to become more famous so more people will see "Ain't Them Bodies Saints" and the one coming out next year "A Ghost Story". Seriously the trailer is good.

Anyway, then went dinner at this Korean place on Pitt St with really nice deco I forgot what its called lol. Bumped into Jess Shi and Sophia Chung. Then I wanted to walk past Me Oi (now Pho Mo) to see if the same people were still working even though it changed owners. And yup looked through the window and saw Francis then saw Chi!! Hahahah it was so random to catch up with them and yah they still having fun (and getting paid hella good as well). Francis has a tattoo now on his forearm holy shiet. Still kinda creepy though he keeps telling me he wants to meet Lizzy and Amy fml he's even been telling Chi that "Serena's going to introduce me to her friends" can someone please stop him just no

Ya its 2am gotta get up at like 6 tmr rip.  ok what the fuck I have just failed in killing a huge cockroach in my room now it is on the loose fml

Read More

Immigrant Song

So um yes this is how we made the cake which took like 7 hours ................................................compacted into 1 minute. it will literally make no sense unless you've seen the girl with the dragon tattoo trailer

Tried to watch Tanner Hall but it was such a shitty movie I could not get past 20 minutes.

Also I slept at 6am last night because I was stalking. 

I think Feng or someone showed me this before but omfg this is too cute

Also I really like this song

Read More

Christmas 2016

22nd

Went to Stephen's house for some pre-Christmas celebrations. Amy used m&ms as blue lipstick. 

We had a last minute Kris Kringle only because Amy and Stephen had already gotten us gifts LOL. I had nothing to buy for Stephen so Amy bought him a phone holder thing to strap to your arm. They got me a Middle Earth map hehehehe

Baked some Christmas treats like this reindeer cupcake that looked like maggots were coming out from its eyeballs.

Watched "Her" and I didn't fully understand the movie I feel HAHAHA like it was beautiful to look at but I don't have enough life experience to relate to all the issues it delves into. I found this Youtube channel "Channel Criswell" that does the most amazing video essays on movies. Also the narrator has a Scottish? accent that is so soothing to listen to.

23rd

Woke up late and went to city to hang with Amy. We had lunch at the $2.50 sushi place above Market City and yasss the chicken and cream cheese roll is good every time. 

 Tried sea urchin which is literally the most disgusting thing I have ever tasted. I usually hate seafood but this was next level. It was like if you had a bucket of seafood, took all the seafood out, concentrated all the juices at the bottom of the bucket then coagulated it to resemble pus.

Then I was craving N2 and I remembered that Kim worked there and I went up to order the one with passionfruit and pavlova and she gave me a nod and I was like YASSSSSSSSSSSSSS cus last time she said she would give me free ice cream and she actually did HAHAHA ty ty ty Kim :) 

After that we walked around to find Amy's kk gifts for her family. Then we went back home so I could tutor Kevin. 

Then Amy threw a tantrum and we didn't start baking until 1am after we finally settled on watching Bride and Prejudice (the Bollywood parody of Pride and Prejudice) which we didn't end up really watching anyway. WORKED ON THE CAKE UNTIL 5:30 AM RIP BECAUSE WE HAD TO COOK THE 3 LAYERS SEPARATELY AND WE ONLY HAD 1 CAKE TIN. 

Anyway, I'm going to edit a video together of how we made the cake.

24th

Spent Christmas Eve at Amy's house because why not I basically live there anyway. Here are some terrible photos. 

 Her family does huge christmases omfg there were so many presents underneath the tree like fek

We went swimming and it was so fun omfg we had a water balloon fight and it legitimately hurt when the balloons hit you without popping. Kevin had welts HAHAHA. Then we all swam in the same direction and made an actual whirlpool.

Kevin's disgusting foot

Also Amy, Stephen and Amy's mum got me the best present ever omfg it was this dip pen set from this shop in Hurstville ITS SO BEAUTIFUL AND FUN HEHEHEHEH ty ty ty I feel bad because I didn't get anyone anything but I guess if I get it in the next two days maybe it will still count.

25th

stayed over again, went to Huong Xua canley heights for lunch with the pham

I relate spiritually to this

 Eugene lent me her brother's Millenium Series and I'm like 100 pages in and I love it already.

Soz for the abundant photo post it's getting late and I must watch ALL her movies. Tanner Hall is up next. 

Read More

Chokes on Spinach

Your ever faithful (and drunk) Cap'n Jack Sparrow is fucking bored again today and has done some photoshopping because why not. 

Stephen gazes longingly into Joffrey's eyes, pauses and whispers, "I need to shit."

Joffrey's eyebrows raise as he stutters "b-b-but...you've already been -"

Stephen raises a fingers to Joffrey's lips.

"Yes my darling....for the 5th time today."

Hmm a Vietnamese Tiger Lily. More or less offensive than the casting of the Anglo-Saxon actor in Pan to play the traditionally Native American character?

I made a tumblr for the lols don't follow me cus my first post is too personal. Can someone teach me to tumblr how do I get followers.

Too many days I have been home alone I think I may ... become obese just eating and sitting all the time literally haven't moved in 4 days or something.

Watched The Fighter which was a pretty good movie. Christian Bale is so good in it omfg and he looks like a lil drugged up stick.

Its 2am now and I have to get up at 8 tmr. I'm kinda lost as to what to blog about. So I guess I'll leave it there. No bullshit personality stuff tonight.

A note on my titles:

I make my titles up so randomly and sometimes they are unrelated to what I'm blogging about. I wonder if I read back on my past blog posts I will remember what I was referring to. 

Read More

The Individualist

Learning how to use photoshop because boredom

Yes the outline is all fucked up cus she so hard to select but yo that was fun to make. tyvm Spoon Graphic's for this tutorial. He did it so much better HAHAHAH. hmmm I think we're noticing a theme here.

Rewatched social network and I can relate to Mark Zuckerberg in many ways but I wish I was as smart as him omfg can I invent something so I can be as rich as him but I am so uninspired. He is such a douchebag fml Eduardo u lil poor puppy why???? the dramatic part where he finds out his shares have been diluted to "point zero three" was RIVETING

only engo kids will understand

Did not know David Fincher directed House of Cards maybe I shall watch it now.

Want to take the legit Enneagram test to see what I am. After reading through the types I reckon I'm the individualist. None of the positives of any of the types really match me but legit what is positive about my personality anyway. Actually this is spot on wtffffffff maybe everyone is like this lol

That basic fear and desire tho. Some more quotes from the article:

"More than any other type, Fours are acutely aware of and focused on their personal differences and deficiencies."

"Fours often report that they feel they are missing something in themselves, although they may have difficulty identifying exactly what that “something” is. "

"They feel that they lack a clear and stable identity, particularly a social persona that they feel comfortable with."

"While it is true that Fours often feel different from others, they do not really want to be alone. They may feel socially awkward or self-conscious, but they deeply wish to connect with people who understand them and their feelings"

"Fours typically have problems with a negative self-image and chronically low self-esteem. They attempt to compensate for this by cultivating a Fantasy Self—an idealized self-image which is built up primarily in their imaginations." #oath

lmao

Some advice:

Do not pay so much attention to your feelings; they are not a true source of support for you, as you probably already know. Remember this advice: "From our present perspective, we can also see that one of the most important mistakes Fours make is to equate themselves with their feelings. The fallacy is that to understand themselves they must understand their feelings, particularly their negative ones, before acting. Fours do not see that the self is not the same as its feelings or that the presence of negative feelings does not preclude the presence of good in themselves" (Personality Types, p. 172). Always remember that your feelings are telling you something about yourself as you are at this particular moment, not necessarily more than that.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Damn that's scary how accurate the description is. That's how David Fincher casts his movies. He does the Enneagram test for his character, assigns them a number, then makes an actor take it and he considers how similar their types are. 

OMG WTF David Fincher (director), Trent Reznor (score composer), Jesse Eisenberg and Rooney Mara ALL FROM THE SOCIAL NETWORK are type 5s??? Coincidence? No jk generally actors, directors and scientists are type 5s because they tend to be curious and insightful. Huh the more you know. 

omfg in the behind the scenes Jesse said something like "I hate LA because everyone has got friends there." and he was sad cus when they went from Boston to LA to film, Andrew wasn't hanging out with him as much because he had a girlfriend there (Emma Stone).

Trying to learn how to play the Forrest Gump theme on piano just for the lols and I'm fucking bored.

Wow it is 4am this is like the 4th night in a row I have done this my sleep schedule is truly fucked. 

Gonna be me one day. I've never been angry drunk. just sad sometimes.

Read More

disingenuous

OMFG DO YOU REMEMBER THE REALLY INTROVERTED GUY I DID MY SUBCOM INTERVIEW WITH A FEW WEEKS AGO AND I SAID “HE WAS SO INTROVERTED THAT HE MADE ME LOOK SOCIAL”???

WELL TURNS OUT HE WASN’T ACTUALLY INTROVERTED HE IS ACTUALLY ONE OF THE WOMEN IN ENGINEERING FUCKING DIRECTORS WHO WAS JUST ACTING INTROVERTED BECAUSE EVERYONE ELSE DROPPED OUT OF MY INTERVIEW AND THEY NEEDED SOMEONE TO WORK WITH ME SO HE JUST ACTED AS THIS SHY SHY BOY SO I HAD SOMEONE TO INTERVIEW ALONGSIDE OMG

I WALKED INTO THE ROOM TODAY AND I SAW HIM AND I WAS SO SURPRISED CUS HE MADE IT IN TOO AND I WAS LIKE WTF I THOUGHT ONLY 1 PERSON FROM EACH ROOM INTERVIEW MADE IT IN BUT I HIGH FIVE HIM ANYWAY AND WE WERE LIKE “OMG WE BOTH MADE IT IN!!!”

Nek minnit he starts like shouting and being so so strange and funny and loud and everything which was complete opposite to what he was in that interview and im starting to think “wow this guy is so confident he seems like a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT PERSON”

Then he starts addressing everyone like “welcome to WIE blah blah” and I’m beyond confused at this point NEK MINNIT he says “Yes Serena I’m actually the director of events” and I was so bloody shocked and I felt so betrayed because I realised that Big Lucy and the other interviewer were fully playing me

Also he was such a good actor he did not drop his character at all throughout the whole interview. Big Lucy and Shabab also were really good because they PRETENDED TO BE LISTENING TO WHAT HE WAS SAYING AND PRETENDING TO TAKE NOTES and I’m not even kidding I have never been fooled by someone’s acting to this extent in my entire life.

Now I’m shook and don’t want to trust shy people anymore.

Also it makes so much sense now why he kept being like “what do you think?” I thought he just had no ideas but he was trying to get me to talk.

Yah so had first subcommittee training today and it was kinda really fun HAHAHH walked in, met all the subcoms (PR, events and IMP) and legit everyone is so friendly. I haven’t been part of a team in a really long fucking time. I’m doing PR so it’s making cover photos, creating websites and stuff which I’m all g with. Legit the director Shabab was walking through basics of photoshopping and like turning layers on and off and stuff and I was so surprised people didn’t know how to do that. We take SGHS for granted sometimes. So much thought goes into making cover photos for events O_O

We played really lame ice breaker games HAHAHAHA but they were all so fun like we played Chinese Whispers but with actions and somehow we turned the Macarena into a mixture of thrusting and muzzing. Why do i always look like I just came out of prison?

Went to Holy Basil for dinner where we played never have I ever and the fucking president showed up baked (which I didn’t know about I just thought she was very airy fairy) and one of the directors was like “I’ve never taken two drugs at the same time” because they only take one at a time duh like they all rave and stuff it’s so strange then another director was listed the two things he had at the same time so basically everyone’s a druggo???

Trying not to be socially awkward because its ok to be introverted sometimes (like the Roons) just try to keep your dignity and don’t do anything that is not truly yourself. Me to me: But the fun people to hang out with are the extroverted ones. So who should I be? I am not a fun person. If you have to choose who you want to be that defeats the purpose of being yourself. I don’t want to be a phony and I don’t want to censor myself but also if I didn’t censor myself very weird thoughts would surface.

Also I observe so many people and memorise their faces but they never know who I am. Forever a fringe dweller. Maybe like the Roons I’m meant to be the silent one in the room just watching and understanding but never taking part.

Rip lost my opal card.

I finished up tutoring yesterday until Jan 14^th so I’m very very happy at the moment I have like 3/4 weeks off!!!! Days are good when I don’t have to see crazy year 5s and mark their terrible homework.

“Why should I ‘fake smile’?” she asks. “It feels disingenuous to me. I want to smile when something happy happens, so if I do smile, you know it’s real.”

 tfw someone takes 2 days to reply to you on snapchat even tho they still posting snap stories. That's when you know you're truly valued.

Read More

FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING FUCK

Went Wet n' Wild today with Amy, Eugene, Stephen and Andrew. It was the absolute worst weather to go - max 19 degrees or something like that and it was kinda sprinkling as well. We all shrivelled up like potatoes and Stephen's lips actually turned blue. But it was so fun because the lines were so so so short we had to wait max 10 mins for some of them and only because there were heaps of school kids. After the school kids left, we basically had the park to ourselves and the staff looked so bored like they were waiting for us to get on rides so they could do something. So we got to try every single ride in the park and went on a couple more than once. we would've done everything multiple times but it was just getting too cold.

Amy and Andrew were matching

Pointing at Andrew's nipples peaking through his rashie.

Then dinner at Strathfield forgot what the restaurant was called but its like on the corner of the street opposite Me Oi. Really yummy.

The music in this trailer gave me so many chills. It's the new Christopher Nolan movie with Harry Styles.

Is it slightly embarrassing I only learnt how to use "its" and "it's" properly a few months ago?

Maybe

I love watching other people's lives because are infinitely more interesting than mine. So here are some more films that I would like to share with you, that you probably won't watch because who has time for this?

This part in Her was so heartbreaking

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

Holy shit The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo was so good I can't believe the sequels fell through wtf. I NEED MORE OMFG. Holding out hope that the original cast will be back if they do do sequels but if not I guess I will just have to read the books and use my imagination. fml so good.

Shirt goals

This is turning into tumblr sorry. Fascinating article/interview about the film http://www.vogue.com/865404/rooney-mara-playing-with-fire/. Are Vogue articles usually this well written? The guy is writing a short story rather than an interview. 

Also watched Side Effects which was so meh I didn't like it that much.

Ain't Them Bodies Saints

Loved this movie so much I felt so much for all the characters like seriously amazing it made barely any money when it was originally released (1 million against a 4 million budget literally rip). It's basically about two outlaws (Casey Affleck, Rooney Mara) who are SOULMATES and then everything gets fucked up when the guy gets arrested, leaving his pregnant wife alone. Then a few years pass and he spends the rest of the movie trying to get back to her and his daughter whom he has never seen. IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL I FELT LIKE I WAS WATCHING FUCKING MOVING PAINTINGS.

I have been feeling like quite the romantic recently can someone please pull me out of this weird phase. 

Wish I was good at something to do with film so I can work on them (everyone's dream I know). 

"The more people know about you, the less they can project who you are supposed to be."

I smell the jacket you gave to me but I cannot find you hidden between the threads. 

Read More