Sunday, 18 December 2016

disingenuous

OMFG DO YOU REMEMBER THE REALLY INTROVERTED GUY I DID MY SUBCOM INTERVIEW WITH A FEW WEEKS AGO AND I SAID “HE WAS SO INTROVERTED THAT HE MADE ME LOOK SOCIAL”???

WELL TURNS OUT HE WASN’T ACTUALLY INTROVERTED HE IS ACTUALLY ONE OF THE WOMEN IN ENGINEERING FUCKING DIRECTORS WHO WAS JUST ACTING INTROVERTED BECAUSE EVERYONE ELSE DROPPED OUT OF MY INTERVIEW AND THEY NEEDED SOMEONE TO WORK WITH ME SO HE JUST ACTED AS THIS SHY SHY BOY SO I HAD SOMEONE TO INTERVIEW ALONGSIDE OMG

I WALKED INTO THE ROOM TODAY AND I SAW HIM AND I WAS SO SURPRISED CUS HE MADE IT IN TOO AND I WAS LIKE WTF I THOUGHT ONLY 1 PERSON FROM EACH ROOM INTERVIEW MADE IT IN BUT I HIGH FIVE HIM ANYWAY AND WE WERE LIKE “OMG WE BOTH MADE IT IN!!!”

Nek minnit he starts like shouting and being so so strange and funny and loud and everything which was complete opposite to what he was in that interview and im starting to think “wow this guy is so confident he seems like a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT PERSON”

Then he starts addressing everyone like “welcome to WIE blah blah” and I’m beyond confused at this point NEK MINNIT he says “Yes Serena I’m actually the director of events” and I was so bloody shocked and I felt so betrayed because I realised that Big Lucy and the other interviewer were fully playing me


Also he was such a good actor he did not drop his character at all throughout the whole interview. Big Lucy and Shabab also were really good because they PRETENDED TO BE LISTENING TO WHAT HE WAS SAYING AND PRETENDING TO TAKE NOTES and I’m not even kidding I have never been fooled by someone’s acting to this extent in my entire life.

Now I’m shook and don’t want to trust shy people anymore.

Also it makes so much sense now why he kept being like “what do you think?” I thought he just had no ideas but he was trying to get me to talk.

Yah so had first subcommittee training today and it was kinda really fun HAHAHH walked in, met all the subcoms (PR, events and IMP) and legit everyone is so friendly. I haven’t been part of a team in a really long fucking time. I’m doing PR so it’s making cover photos, creating websites and stuff which I’m all g with. Legit the director Shabab was walking through basics of photoshopping and like turning layers on and off and stuff and I was so surprised people didn’t know how to do that. We take SGHS for granted sometimes. So much thought goes into making cover photos for events O_O

We played really lame ice breaker games HAHAHAHA but they were all so fun like we played Chinese Whispers but with actions and somehow we turned the Macarena into a mixture of thrusting and muzzing. Why do i always look like I just came out of prison?

Went to Holy Basil for dinner where we played never have I ever and the fucking president showed up baked (which I didn’t know about I just thought she was very airy fairy) and one of the directors was like “I’ve never taken two drugs at the same time” because they only take one at a time duh like they all rave and stuff it’s so strange then another director was listed the two things he had at the same time so basically everyone’s a druggo???

Trying not to be socially awkward because its ok to be introverted sometimes (like the Roons) just try to keep your dignity and don’t do anything that is not truly yourself. Me to me: But the fun people to hang out with are the extroverted ones. So who should I be? I am not a fun person. If you have to choose who you want to be that defeats the purpose of being yourself. I don’t want to be a phony and I don’t want to censor myself but also if I didn’t censor myself very weird thoughts would surface.

Also I observe so many people and memorise their faces but they never know who I am. Forever a fringe dweller. Maybe like the Roons I’m meant to be the silent one in the room just watching and understanding but never taking part.

Rip lost my opal card.

I finished up tutoring yesterday until Jan 14th so I’m very very happy at the moment I have like 3/4 weeks off!!!! Days are good when I don’t have to see crazy year 5s and mark their terrible homework.

“Why should I ‘fake smile’?” she asks. “It feels disingenuous to me. I want to smile when something happy happens, so if I do smile, you know it’s real.”


 tfw someone takes 2 days to reply to you on snapchat even tho they still posting snap stories. That's when you know you're truly valued.

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