Tonight has made me realise that alcohol really cannot solve any of my issues or maybe it was just because I wasn’t with the people I wanted to be with. Idk haven’t felt this shit in a while.
Only positive to come out of this night is that I caught up with Andy and he told me what is going on with his life and I’m sad I cant be honest with him and tell him whats going on with mine because he is actually so genuine and nice. We are very similar fucked up weak bitches.
Being a normal person and socialising and drinking I can’t do this idk why Jesus you made me like this because its honestly not worth it.
I’m scared to death that she might be it
that the love is real that the shoe might fit
she might just be my everything and
Beyond
Oh hi Lilymaymac in your bigass glasses
Isnt it funny how u can think of someone one way and they think something completely differnet of u
Resourced the whole day :) Then went to see Ocean's 8 with Khalid Masters + had ramen at some food court place in Chinatown beforehand (Gumshara). It was slimy af?? Pork was super yum but the actual broth was so fatty and just tasted legit like melted pork fat. There wasn't much flavour. After doing some researched I found that the broth is made with JUST pork bones and water and is apparently the best ramen in Sydney???
excuse my munted face.
banger with sad lyrics. but it's less sad because the guy who sings it just got given the song at an "American camp" and he kinda pronounces a lot of the words weirdly?
YESSSS FINALLY FINISHED RESOURCING HEHEHE. logged 13 hours this week xD. Also gotta do the workbook so yay money!
Tuesday
Watched about 10 episodes of Queer Eye. I love it so much. Especially when there is like a love story or something / happy ending because cheese.
so pure
Folded clothes, cut up some fruit, ate so many servings of mac and cheese, getting a bit obese, did the daily "what am I doing with my life" conversation with myself, procrastinated from doing VSA stuff.
Wednesday
Ohana reunion day!!
Lianne drove over to my house, Lulu trained it here (even though she has a car l m a o). Chilled at my house for about 5 minutes before we immediately got bored so we drove to Cabra for lunch at The Usual. The Korean Fried Chicken burger was bomb a f.
thanks lulu's photography skills
Then went grocery shopping for hot pot stuff. Dropped the stuff at home, went to Liverpool to buy some shit that we needed. Feng arrived. Got back home, started watching Kissing Booth. Joyce arrived then we had hotpot!!! Bought way too much food lol but it was good.
Had dessert at Mr Bingsoo at Little Saigon Plaza and it was a solid 9/10.
Thursday
fml finished Queer Eye now I am sad what do :(
spent most of the day doing nothing again. I am wondering whether I should start playing video games again.
OK NVM I JUST STARTED LOVE ISLAND AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH its so good!!
just ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh rn idk wats wrong with me sometimes
Yesterday I went to watch Hereditary with Niina and my heart was literally beating so hard the entire movie. Really recommend everyone to go see it. Will talk more about it below but legitimately have never been that stressed out in a movie theatre ever.
Then she ventured back to Carramar with me for sleepover hehe. We spent forever deciding what movie to watch and then just ended up not watching a movie.
The whole night I was drifting in and out of sleep thinking about the anatomy of the arm/shoulder. I would accidentally put my arm in a certain position that would pinch a nerve and from anatomy I now know what nerve I hit HAHAHA. It was the ulnar nerve because only my ring finger and pinky were tingling XD
Today took her out to ~~~EXPERIENCE CABRAMATTA~~~ lmao classic case of uncultured eastie right here. Had all the classic shit you get in Cabramatta like noodles (not pho because Niina is vego), vietnamese iced coffee, pandan waffles, avocado/durian shake, sugar cane juice etc. Went grocery shopping for her mum because she needed okra and taro and loooool we went to the vege shop with the guy with the really croaky voice and we were lowkey stressed because it was Sunday afternoon IN CABRAMATTA and there were so many people just pushing and shoving and shit. But hey ITS THE REAL DEAL!!
Even showed her the two fabric shops that have a bajillion rolls of weird fabric.
We were in our matching honey hoodies the whole day and of course I saw two tutor kids.
Then went back to my house and tried to nap for a bit before Yiyi came to whisk Niina away to her WIESoc bonding. Was sad for a hot min and tried to nap again but then randomly got a message from Selz in group chat legit 5 mins later like is anyone free I am bored
She came over for a bit to chill and so did cousin Amy. We just talked a lil. They left then I ate dinner with sis which she made. Matt Moran's mac n cheese nom nom nommmmm. THEN WATCHED 1.5 EPISODES OF QUEER EYE OMGGGG I LOVE IT SO MUCH. Now I am here, not resourcing when I really should be resourcing :(
I want to watch this again so I can feel what I felt in the theatre again which was complete TERROR.
Long story short, there's this family and the grandma dies and then all this fucked up shit starts to happen and you don't really know if its like a mental thing happening in their minds of it there is supernatural stuff going on.
ITS SO FUCKING GOOD
There's this one scene near the beginning of the film when you realise that this movie is literally ape. The car scene? Yes people who have watched it know what I'm talking about.
I've been trying to find analyses for the ending of the movie because shit is actually so whack but can't find much besides a few vids on Youtube. I have so many questions (mainly what was with the book and the fire link? sos?).
But yeah go do it if you want to have a good time XD. Its really not a good time hahaha.
MY LOVE for Queer Eye
THESE GAY GUYS ARE A GIFTTTTTTTTT TO THE WORLD
WHAT IS THIS SHOW ABOUT YOU ASK??? LEMME JUST TELL U
EACH EPISODE, THE "FAB 5" MAKEOVER ONE STRAIGHT GUY. BUT ITS NOT JUST AN ORDINARY MAKEOVER NO. ITS A MAKEOVER IN ALLL ASPECTS OF THEIR LIFE.
EACH GUY IN THE FAB 5 IS RESPONSIBLE FOR A DIFFERENT THING: FOOD, LIFESTYLE, FASHION, GROOMING AND HOUSE DESIGN.
AHSKJDFAVKJ;ASKDJF;
THE DIFFERENCE THEY MAKE IN OTHER PEOPLES LIVES IS ACTUALLY SO INSPIRING
Legit so nice and so caring and so on top of their shit (by that I mean they are literally the shining examples of how humans should act).
Mathew (my ANAT demonstrator and m8 from VSA) messaged me like "you failed ANAT" and I knew he was joking cus this bitch doesn't fail ok. OFC HE WAS JOKING
apparently I got 98% for my spot test yeeeeeeet the one with the identification of the weird tissues. BUT YEAH I WAS SO PLEASANTLY SURPRISED HAHAH. Sad though because I still know I did bad for the written ANAT which is worth way more but whatever :) I AM HAPPY CHAPPY FOR NOW. Hopefully anat and phsl pull my wam up lol
3rd day at home. Yesterday I went to bed at 8:30 pm immediately after dinner and my body naturally woke me up at 6 am after a solid 9.5 hours of sleep. But no I WILLED MYSELF BACK TO SLEEP because I knew I would be so bored if I woke up. I just lay there with my eyes closed for SO FUCKING LONG contemplating life until I fell back asleep. Ended up sleeping till 10 am. MY LIFE IS SO INTERESTING RN.
Depression naps? Pshhhhht thats old Serena. I'm all about the boredom naps now.
Even twitter/tumblr bores me these days. What do? Should I get back into some computer games....like SIMS!!!
My cat is so fucking ugly sometimes smh
YEEEEEEEEEEET FINALLY LEFT MY HOUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hung out with Niina cus she finally finished exams. We had dinner at new Kobow (Gangnam Station?). Was so expensive but really really yummy. Fucking Niina ordered an ice peach dessert thing and it was legit canned peaches in their syrup plus a few ice cubes. I've never felt my jipped in my life. They were good canned peaches tho. Also had seafood stew (when niina can only eat seafood but I hate it where do we compromise?? We're not just gonna order fucking potatoes). The stew was yummy even tho I just ate the tofu and egg hahaha but it was super spicy.
WANTED DESSERT SO WENT TO 85 degrees and then starbucks to get coffee wtf even. got kicked out of starbucks because they were closing but we managed to finish the cakes. Then went to maccas for more food?? Idk why??? Swapped music. Ended up leaving at 1 ish and somehow burnt 5 hours doing absolutely nothing but talk and eat.
also my parents called me and were like "we're in Ashfield we can come city to pick u up" and i felt like royalty!!! I never get picked up from the city?!?!?! Got home in about 40 mins and was pretty tipsy but my dad still asked me to park the car for him. They really can't tell when I've been drinking lmao.
ANAT spot test was fine. I guess. IDK. When I was flipping back there were a couple things I forgot to write "left/right" for cus I'm a mong but there wasn't anything major I didn't know. Except I didn't study the function of the glomerulus lmaooo.
Afterwards, talked to a few people about it and the general consensus was that it was not bad. Never been to a single uni class as much as I've been to ANAT so like you see the same people around and its nice.
Went to lib afterwards to resource but then found out from Amy that we're actually ahead of schedule for one week. Therefore didn't do anything for like 3 hours. Started watching Mad Men. Gave Jo her headphones back, waited for Amy to charge her laptop then was about to go home before Niina messaged me to get lunch with her.
HAHAHAHAHAAHHA kidding XD
We had veggie nachos from Whitehouse and I jokingly snapchatted a woman who was wearing a hoodie cus Niina said she was wearing a hoodie nek minnit Niina's right behind her.
I went home and was sad because had to wait at Central for 26 minutes.
Went home and slept forever then started watching Killing Eve.
What a great way to celebrate the end of the exams XD
I forget about things that make me angry but then when I remember them I feel stupid for ever forgetting.
Today
Woke up from my slumber. Arose and was so bored for 2 hours that I ate and then went back to sleep for another 4 hours. Like I'm at the point of boredom where there is nothing to do besides sleep. Don't want to be awake anymore.
Tutored my kid. Went home, made some instant noodles and ate them. Yum.
Then watched Incredibles 2 with my cousins. IT WAS SUPER GOOD!!! Jack Jack so fkn funny. You know what else is funny? this tweet
me saying other people are boring when I'm literally out here... like white bread. not even toasted.
Jokes lowkey given up cus i did so bad in the written final so i don't want to try anymore.
Banger #1
issa middle finger to my heart
Banger #2
yes i am basic. vagina's are acidic though. that's why u need to add some alkaline shit from the prostate gland so the sperm don't die when they enter lmao.
holy fuck I'm so done how am I supposed to tell the difference between the tubules of the kidney honestly what even THIS SHIT ALL LOOK THE SAME S O S
[EDIT: HOLY MOTHER JESUS THIS SLIDE WAS IN THE SPOT TEST AND I LITERALLY DIDN'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK I WAS DOING EXCEPT FOR THE PROXIMAL TUBULE AND GLOMERULUS K M S]
Alex Strangelove (2018)
Dir. Craig Johnson
Are the movie reviews back? No. If its feel good I will like it. Ain't nobody got time for deep depresso movies anymore.
I cried twice watching Alex Strangelove at both of the times him and his best friend were having moments. At the end when Alex was hugging Elliot and then he looks up and smiles at Claire o m g I just exploded in tears. Can you just imagine going through that and at the end of it all still having a 10/10 friend I can't she's so nice their friendship is so nice AKSJDFAKNVLKAEJFLKASDJFL
Set It Up (2018)
Dir. Claire Scanlon
This was cute af. Rom-com with some heart XD. Also Lucy Liu literally hasn't aged.
listening to this song and actually watching the animations at the same time is legit an experience. Would've cried but didn't want to waste my tears again xdxdxddddd
Thursday
I ended up staying over at uni again. Legit feeling like the most homeless family with VSA this exam period.
After my ANAT exam I "studied" with Phuc Andy and Lianne at Mathews. Was kinda productive I guess? Andy and Lianne went home then it was just Phuc and I. It was chill. He was dying because he had 0 sleep the night before for management and was about to do it again for maths.
Then at around 9:30 Selina arrived. We got kicked out of the cats room so went to the computer room. Kept studying for PHSL but then at around 2 am I got tired and wanted to sleep. Phuc brought his sleeping bag so I used it for about an hour before I felt bad for taking it and then I gave it back to him. I tried to sleep across a few chairs but it was too fkn cold and I kept waking up because Selz and her infosys friend were studying really loudly.
After drifting in and out for sleep forEVER, they realised how to turn the heater on. After that I took Phuc's sleeping bag back and had the best sleep until 10 am. I woke up and Selina and her m8 were finally napping after their all nighter. I gave them to sleeping bag and I went BACK TO STUDYING!
Tony gave me a moda HAHAHA so I was good to go for the rest of the day. Niina joined me after her exam and I could feel the smh from Selina. We were very slow with our studying I feel. We were struggling to remember all the info for blood and CVS. We ended up lowkey sacrificing neurophysiology because didn't have enough time but I taught Niina everything about the stretch/golgi tendon/withdrawal reflexes because that was the most common question. We read through all the pracs except for safety prac and the computer lab prac.
Niina, Tony and I got driven back to her house by her boy Ben. Tony went to sleep, Niina and I stayed up studying before she died at like 4 am. I pulled a phat all nighter trying to learn as much about neuro as I could. Crammed the multiple choice for the last two topics. Realised in the morning that I forgot to study the computer lab so memorised the answers in the car and just before the exam. IT WAS GOOD!!!
I regret my life for not studying the PHSL safety lab though fuckK.
Friday
We got to the exam and so many bess people everywhere haha. Felt like a big ass screwed family. Actual exam was actually not bad. The neuro question was a bit fucked but I feel like I had some OK bullshit. We'LL SEE. Might actually get 90 for it if I did as well as I thought I did.
Went back to Niina's house, saw the cutest cat, watched like 30 minutes of 13 reason why before we both slept for 4 hours HAHAH. I've been so sleep deprived for the past few days.
We left her house and parted ways because she was going to to see Ben and she kept tellin me to come but wtf like nty not gonna be a third wheel so I went back to uni to wait for a bit with VSA before going back out to city. Watched a bit of Set It Up on Netflix before Khang and Jo drove me to CEntral. Met up with Brendaddy and Lizzie XD
We all so done with exams omfg. We had kind of a depresso catch up at Sparrow's Mill but it was good. Soju was involved. We are on the same page with a lotta things.
My soul needs Jesus. We went to star bar, danced and played pool. Then I just died like Niina and Ben joined us and idk but my head just shut down. I was so fucking tired from too many nights of shit sleep so I just slept on the couch before the seccy told me to get up. POOL WAS FUN THOOOOOOOO we all so shit HAHAHA.
Went to Maccas with Brenda and ran into James Tinker and Rick? IDK I was so drunk and just hungry for food. I think Tinker ended up paying for us so yeet.
Checked my phone and like the last train was coming to Central in 10 minutes but I thought I was checking from Town Hall so I didn't need to rush. NEK MINNIT I realise that the train goes the long way around from Town Hall meaning that the train was probably coming in 5 minutes at Museum and I was so fucking far from there. CHECK MY PHONE AND I LEGIT JUST SPRINT THE FUCK OUTTA MACCAS. I have never ran so hard and so fast for the train. Legit got on and just collapsed on the seat and took the dumbest video of me panting and sent it to Potatoes.
anyway, the last thing I have is my ANAT spot test on Tuesday. So ceebs. I'm already in holiday mode.
figuring out what I want to do with my life atm .... I'm legit so worried
I just want to have fun is that too much to ask. I want to take another depression nap.
Saturday
Woke up dehydrated a f. Went downstairs and was shooketh to see my cousin's baby in my house. We had a massif breakfast and then went to pick up my dad's new car.
He was very happy with it HAHAHA. Mid life crisis? Now there's a free car!! I can drive his old one but its so fat ugh.
Went home, took a depression nap. Had dinner, now we here.
I need to study and do project work :(
awkwafina is so underrated... this is so fucking funny. asian represent
our anat team got the highest poster score and the highest combined team quiz score (probs tied with other people) BUT YEEEEEEEEEEET.
this is the biggest banger was dancing to it at 8 am before Selz' exam BEST VIBES EVER
now time to study for anat which is so fun hehehe
seriously considering just staying at uni again lmao BUT NO gotta go home and shower i actually smell AND my yellow honey is so dirty from sleeping on the floor smh.
Anyway, as I said yesterday, stayed overnight with Alan and Selz. Selz was so focused it was kinda scary. I was studying till about 5 am and I tried to sleep but the moda legit just did not let me. I ended up napping for like half an hour before my mman exam but that plus the nap I took in the psych room yesterday is legit all the sleep I got in the past 2 days. Feel like I'm just gonna get a heart attack and honestly TAKE ME. the worst is over tho!!!
don't want the bad feels today and studying with VSA makes me v happy. Just went up to see them and it felt like a family with everyone dying but trying to pull through together.
studied with Amy and Stephen today because we both had MMAN. so much more intensely concentrated than vsa hHAHAHHA. Actual MMAN exam was O K. It could've gone a little better. Towards the end I was too ceebs to check my work and it ended up being wrong and I didn't have enough time to fix it cus it was too late by then ragrats BUT the thing I think I did wrong wasn't worth that many marks. so I will be ok :) nek minnit credit
learnt something 5 minutes ago
a study montage
why don't people just say what they mean smh
Thursday
Was supposed to wake up at 3 am to learn the entire anatomy course... nek minnit wakes up at 7 am. bloody left myself 6 hours to cram HAHHA
Its ok tho. Exam was utterly fucked. I don't even know. The first MCQ I was actually sure of was like the 10th one. The long response questions were:
Describe the path of the sperm from its creation to ejection from ze penis (15 marks) got the secretions from prostate and bulbourethral glands mixed up but besides that it was ok
List the characteristics of a thoracic vertebrae?!?!? like wtf?!?! 7 marks I KNEW LIKE ALMOST NOTHING
compare the histologically structure of the walls of the stomach and small intestine ( lol literally bs'ed my way through this so BAD.)
FUCKING l o l I just want this hell week to be over and for me to not be so sad anymore but yo when what used to made you happy just makes you sad ... now what do
There is something seriously wrong with me I get so angry over little things that I shouldn't get angry at.
twitter really bitching about me today
it me
holy fucking ceebs
considering staying over at uni again today but uhhhhhhhh didn't get much sleep last time so I probs shouldn't lol.
